So Many Lessons

My dad made me read this to him about 100 times.  He loved it so now I think of him when I read it.  It's a letter to Drew I wrote when she was 4 and papa started to decline.  ❤️❤️

Funny how life's experiences bring out the feels and make you ponder.


For Drew ... on a Saturday.

First let me tell you the most important thing you’ll ever hear.  I loved you before you were born and now that you are here, its indescribable. You will know one day when you have a child or several.  It’s infinite; the love.  And there’s just no other way to say it.  I would do anything for you at any time.  I can’t promise that I will be here for the rest of your life, but I can sure promise that I will love you for the rest of mine.

I wish I could tell you everything you need to know.  Well I could, maybe, but it wouldn’t mean much.  It’s all in the experience.  We learn from those.  You will learn that you can’t control anything but yourself.  And there are no guarantees.  

I’m gonna tell you a few things that I hope stay with you.

  

Always forgive.  That one’s hard.  So hard.  But do it.  You’re only freeing yourself.  

Try to understand.  Really try to understand.  "Why did she say that?”  "What made him think he could get away with that?"  You will not always know everything about those reasons and it’s not your right to.  Understand that people aren’t you.  You’re the only you and that’s all you need to know.  People do what they do, so just do what you do and you’ll be fine.

You won’t always win.  The whole “everybody wins” thing isn’t real life.  Sometimes you will lose and that’s ok.  Get back up.  

Your heart will be broken countless times.  It happens.  Don’t cry about it longer than necessary.  There’s a time limit on these things.

With every break you will be stronger and you will be one step closer to the man that deserves you.   

You’re going to experience loss.  Of a pet, of family, of friends maybe.  It hurts really bad.  Just know it’s part of life, honey.  Don’t get angry for too long and you can ask why but the only answer is it's just part of life.

  

Revel in the challenges you face and look back on them not with regret, but with gratitude.  Every single thing that happens in your life brings you to the place you are supposed to be.  Always.

Do not EVER get into drugs.  Drew, that will close so many doors for you. No human being that successfully contributes to society is on drugs. If they are, their reign is short lived.  Nothing good will come out of any drug use whatsoever.  You will end up dead or addicted and I WILL NOT let either happen to you.  Should you decide that drugs look like a good time, I will stalk you, I will flip out on you, I will drive you crazy and I will be your worst nightmare (I read that once and couldn’t have said it better).  I will spend every waking moment of my life making your life a living Hell.  Just don’t do it.

Most likely you will have grown up most of your life with a dog.  Keep that going.  Everyone needs a dog.  Or two.  There’s nothing like their unconditional love.  We can learn a lot from a dog.

Sports.  Working out, soccer, dance, whatever.  Stay active forever.  Not only will you stay healthy and fit, you will forever have a release. Something that you love that you can escape to.  Escape daily, even if for just 15 minutes. 

Keep a journal.  Looking back on them is nostalgic and writing in them is therapeutic. 

Get the highest level of education you can, in the classroom and out.  Knowledge is POWER.  Nothing else to say about that. 

Make money.  The famous saying is “Money isn’t everything” and while it’s not, it does mean freedom.  In this society, you can’t do anything without money and you’ll die an early death from stress worrying about how you’ll pay your bills.  That’s just the way it is.  Sorry.  Make money. 

Remember that in life, there is absolutely nothing like family, but a close second is your girlfriends.  DO NOT EVER lose your girlfriends.  The older you get and the more history you have with them, you will realize you need them, their guidance, their laughter, their stories.  

You really, really need them.

Make your home cozy.  You might have a stressful job, tedious errands all the time, a busy hectic schedule, but at the end of the day, you come home.  And there’s nothing like coming home to a place you love to be in, surrounded by your favorite things/people.  There’s also nothing like clean, cold sheets.  Please wash your sheets.  Gross.

Don’t worry if you’re not married by 30.  As I’m writing this, I’m 34 and I’m not married.  I'm also going to be ok.

Please don’t look at yourself in the mirror and think anything but good thoughts.  If you think anything different, it’s up to you to change it and don’t think twice about doing that.  No one wants to be around someone who is self loathing.  Opposite of magnet.

Lastly, every minute with everyone in your life is really a gift.  Cliche, but you never know when you’re having your last conversation with someone or a last hug, last glance, whatever.  Remember it.  The little moments in life are the things that mold you.  I can’t stress this enough. The little moments.

Oh and one more thing.  BE KIND.  Always be kind, Drew.  If everything you do and say comes from a good place, I’ve done my job.     

Always. Be. Kind.

2-2-14 Midnight 

Written on a boring Saturday night while Disney is on the tv and you’ve been in bed for 4 hours.  

Haha never thought this day would come.