As everyone knows, my family is gigantic. Because of two people, Grandpa Jim and Grandma Rose, there are probably close to 400 Assemany's. That's incredible to me. And as most also know, because of dad's dementia I have vowed to do whatever I can to make sure he sees his family, reminisces, and has conversations about the past when he was young with his brothers and sisters, building pools, pouring cement, riding horses, painting cars. I think before all is said and done, we all deserve a trip back to where we were the happiest and most free. When the days and dreams in front of us seemed never ending.
Lynn took daddy to see uncle Jimmy in his group home. It was surprising that uncle Jimmy knew that dad was his brother right away. They both have dementia which definitely provided some comical moments. If you can't laugh at what is life, then what can you do? Make the best of the circumstances: My motto as of late. Humor is what gets us through.
The second night was spent at Danny's barn. The place was incredible, Danny's little gem; mainly because it's his gradual creation, homemade from scratch, littered with memorabilia, pictures, music, drinks, and laughter. But mostly because the whole time we were there we were surrounded by family, by more love than you could ever imagine, and by stories that made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt; crazy how many noteworthy stories can be told under one barn roof, on a Friday night. Some hilarious banter between pops and uncle Jimmy. At one point, uncle Jimmy had to go to the bathroom so he had dad hold his ShihTzu, Little Bit. "Bernie, just hold the damn dog, I'll be back." Haha dad did what he was told, but not before he protested. If you've ever seen the movie Grumpy Old Men, there's nothing else to say.
I remember thinking to myself in a moment of laughter how lucky we really are. I've said it a million times but it doesn't hurt to say it more. There's nothing like family. There's some kind of comfort in knowing that when the hurt gets too much, there's always somewhere to go. Always. Dad was so happy to be there. He said his brother looked great and his nephews "did good with their wives."
Truly something dad would say.
He's all about the ladies.
Tim let me look at this sign in book that uncle Jimmy and Aunt MaryLee had at their house in Michigan. They would have everyone that came to the house sign in. It's the coolest book to look at. The smallest piece of history right at your fingertips. All kinds of signatures .. Dick LeBeau,
Chuck Dressen, a thousand friends, and then I scanned down the page to the last entry and there was dads. October 20, 1964. He was 34 years old. My age right now. It was signed in the most beautiful handwriting you've ever seen. It occurred to me right then how that was one of the things I remembered most about my dad when I was young.
I'll never forget his penmanship.
So thank you to my family for that night. I know I won't forget it. I know that as long as he possibly can, dad will hold onto it too.
Only twelve more hours in the car would bring us to my Aunt Lisa's house in Naples, FL. The beach means so much more than sand and waves to me. It brings me back to the family trips every Easter with the Santeiu's, mom, when dad would drive the whole way, unpack the car, pump gas with Mark, navigate through construction, and still manage to find some good tunes.
Now when he visits the beach, dad sits on the shore and stares into the water for hours sometimes, maybe reliving his past, maybe making peace with what is here. The sun bakes him into the deepest, darkest tan I've ever seen in my life. That's another thing I will always remember. That tan. Sometimes so dark you can barely see the Devil Dog tattoo on his right arm. Daddy was a drill sergeant in the Marines, you know.
I'd give him a whole lot more than a penny for his thoughts.
This was the first time Drew saw the ocean. Haha and the love affair continues. She can't get enough shells in her wagon, sand in her bathing suit, or salt in her eyes. She loves everything about this "ocean" Giki and I always talk about. Watching her with her papa made me smile every day. He would walk her down to get shells, slowly sauntering and holding her hand.
I'm left with the sweetest feeling when I think about it again.
Its Christmas tomorrow and this weekend I'll be driving home. This was a long vacation and the whole time, I remembered to remember. Letting the small moments soak in is what counts right now. I won't forget this trip for a lot of reasons. I met some of the most incredible people I've ever met and they just happen to be my family, my baby girl saw my most favorite place in the world for the first time, the love of my life spent time with my family, and any time I get to see pops young again, even if just for a fleeting moment, I always make it count.
